Faithful in the Fray

“How’s married life?”

The amount of times I have been asked this question in the past eight weeks would blow you away. While I genuinely wish I could tell you all about being married, there are some things you share and some things you don’t share.

I figured I would take some time and share some good and some not so good that have happened thus far.

Take for example the first morning in our apartment after the honeymoon. (I have a tendency to over-use toilet paper seeing as how I went for so long without any…) I woke up and went to the bathroom and when I went to flush the toilet, the water overflowed and got everywhere. I semi freaked out as I knew the sight of this disaster was absolutely horrifying and yet the only thing I could do was to gently wake my sweet sleeping husband and tell him the mess that I had made. I explained what happened and after a few failed wire hanger attempts he threw on a hat and ran to the store to buy a plunger. Why we didn’t have one before was the question of the hour. Welcome to reality.

“Jeremy, do you smell something burning?” I asked one night.

“No baby, I think it’s just because we haven’t used the oven a lot, it’ll be okay.”

Only to find out the next afternoon when I had opened the dishwasher I saw what had been burning the night prior. I had carefully placed our plastic measuring cups on the top rack as to not get too hot and melt. Ha. Joke was on me. Somehow the measuring cup fell down and had nestled its way around the heated rim on the bottom of the dishwasher. It melted the cup to the coil and I thought I was going to break the dishwasher if I tried to remove it. So, I waited until Jeremy got home and told him what I had done. He graciously helped me and didn’t break the dishwasher. Win!

For a few weeks I was really sad. There is nothing more wonderful than getting married and having everyone around you for a brief time. But then reality hits. After you leave, everyone leaves and you’re left with a new life. It really took me off guard. I wasn’t used to living on my own, and now I was living with a boy. I wasn’t used to paying bills, and now we had a stack piling up. I wasn’t used to cooking every day, and now I was. I wasn’t used to sharing my time as I had always retreated to my ‘cave’ to rest, and now I was around this other human 24/7. I’m not used to laughing as much as I am, and now I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I’m not used to having a build in best friend who can never ever ever leave me, and now I’m sad when we spend time apart. It has been a hard and beautiful time figuring out how to adjust.

Every night Jeremy and I sit at the dinner table and pray together. We thank God for who He is, and how He has blessed us. We pray over our families and friends and the places that they are going. We have been able to connect in a deeper and more spiritual way than I ever could’ve imagined. He is constantly fighting for me and encouraging me when I am down. He has gone to the moon and back as I figure out what it means to be a wife. As well as he has been an amazing example of a husband who pursues the Lord for wisdom and guidance.

Is it easy? Absolutely not. I find out how selfish I really am, each and every day. Is it worth it? With every fiber of my being. I wouldn’t trade getting married, so young, to my best friend in the entire world. I wouldn’t trade the adventures we’ve already gone on, and the ones to come. I wouldn’t give any of it up. Things are just beginning.

To end, I thought I would share one of my finest moments thus far as a wife:

I had gotten really sick at work one Friday a few weeks ago, going to the bathroom every 10 minutes it felt like. So, I had asked to go home and rest for the remainder of the day. When I got home Jeremy sat in bed with me for 6 hours and watched Grey’s Anatomy and ate all the snacks in the world. When I finally decided that I should probably go to sleep I got up to go brush my teeth and do my nightly routine. I had just finished washing my face and was going to town brushing when all of a sudden I spat in the sink and looked up. Over our bathroom door was the biggest cockroach in the world. I had immediate flashbacks of my first night in Uganda back in 2012. Our house was infested with cockroaches. We arrived in the dark and as we all turned our headlamps on and saw them my stomach churned. The girls were screaming and refusing to sleep there. One of the girls even said she was going to pitch her tent in the living room just to be safe. Oh, they even ate through our food the first night and I made my team eat the bread to show we were not afraid of the nasty things. (I’m really sorry about that) But anyways, I saw the cockroach and unbeknownst to me, Jeremy already had a piece of toilet paper in his hand to kill it but I screamed. ‘OH MY GOSH JEREMY KILL IT, ITS GOING TO KILL US. I CAN’T BREATHE, I’M GOING TO DIE, *COUGH COUGH* I CAN’T BREATHE’ This went on for a solid five minutes.

Next thing I know, the cockroach is dead, Jeremy is dying of laughter, and every night I still check over the door to make sure another guy isn’t there to haunt me.

How’s married life you ask? It is full of clogged toilets, melted measuring cups, tears, laughter, adjustments, and nasty cockroaches.

It seemed like the moment stood still but our eyes finally met. Upon Jeremy seeing me, he let out a huge ‘AHHH!’ It was one of the many moments I wished we had a videographer follow us around the day. I knew that in that moment he saw me as the most beautiful woman in the entire world. And to be honest, that’s how I felt. He was my prince charming. I had never seen him so dressed up and put together as he was standing right in front of me. My eyes shifted up and down. He was beautiful. He was so manly. He was mine and in just a few hours we would make that official. We couldn’t help but laugh, and savor the moment. The two of us, alone, for just a brief moment in the day was nothing short of magical. I didn’t know that you normally don’t kiss until the ceremony so of course I leaned right in like I usually do and gave him a huge kiss. I could breathe, I could relax, kind of, I was finally with him.

We took some pictures all around the area we were at and before we knew it our wedding party was showing up. We all had a blast and took tons of the best pictures ever together. We had purposely built in so much extra time during the day that when we were done taking pictures outside we went back to the bridal suite and cooled down. My family slowly started to arrive and I was able to see Jeremy’s family as well. It was so special having moments with them before everyone else started arriving. Unfortunately because we had built in so much extra time I was able to get nervous multiple times throughout the day. I practiced my breathing and all the people surrounding me were so helpful.

We took family photos and by the time we were done I was being rushed back to our room to hang out while everyone was arriving. It was so overwhelming knowing that almost all of the people we love so much were going to be in one room. Friends and family from all over the US had come together and it was a beautiful picture of two becoming one. Before I walked down the aisle I thought I was going to pee my pants. Luckily my dress just had a zipper so I was in and out and ready to walk. Everyone left the room and as we waited it was just my dad and I in the room. I could never accurately describe the talk that we had in those moments. But they brought me to tears knowing that everything I had waited for and promised, he had prayed for and was seeing come to life. It was beautiful. (I’m teary-eyed right now just remembering it.) The moment the doors opened and I walked down the aisle I was overwhelmed. So many peoples eyes on me, but the only person I couldn’t stop looking at was him. My dad was the best walking down with me. He kept us on pace while savoring the moment. I just couldn’t wait to get down to see him!

The ceremony was beautiful and everything was going so well until we went to do the exchange of the rings. I had obviously been wearing an engagement ring the whole year and so when Jeremy went to put the ring on my finger I gave him the right hand. But then, when it was my turn to put the ring on his hand, he gave me the WRONG HAND! I didn’t even notice because I was so worried about the ring fitting on his finger that as soon as we exchanged the rings and were taking communion I whispered to him to switch it right then. I knew everyone had seen and was so embarrassed. Oh well, something going wrong was bound to happen. So, we fixed it. When communion was over we were about to be pronounced! First, we had planned something in our premarital counseling with our Pastor. We had decided that before we did the kiss we were going to take the first official ‘colquhoun selfie.’ No, I’m not joking. It was the greatest and best thing in the entire world. We then had our first kiss and we out of there!

We waited for everyone to leave before we took the big group family photos and then headed out to the sunflower field to take some more pictures. It was so special that the field was up and in full bloom on the wedding day! For those who don’t know, Jeremy proposed in that exact same field where we went to take pictures.

The pictures turned out absolutely amazing. It was so neat too because as we were driving place to place our car was decorated and people kept honking and giving us thumbs up! It was such a neat experience. When we arrived at the reception hall all the guests were inside and the wedding party was waiting outside ready to get announced. Just a couple minutes later the song Happy started to play and the bridal party danced in. We then were announced which was the coolest thing in the entire world. Everyone was clapping and cheering and I was so embarrassed and overwhelmed and so happy all at the same time.

Jeremy and I went straight into our first dance and then broke for dinner. After dinner we did the father daughter dance and mother son dance. It was such a special time. Dad and I had practiced the night before making sure we could do the proper turns and twirls and it was the best. We then surprised all of our missionary friends with a group picture and going straight into ‘super fun morning time.’ If you’ve ever been on an AIM trip you know exactly what I’m talking about. From then on, the party had begun.

We broke halfway through and did the cake cutting, where I decided to cut the TOP TIER OF THE CAKE because I was so in the moment thinking that you cut the cake from the top down and not the other way. Again, whoops my bad. We did the bouquet toss (yay Jess!) and the garter toss (be careful Nathan!) and continued to dance. Around 9:15 we were so exhausted that we ended the night and headed back to ‘our place.’

My alarm was set for 8:15 but at 7:30 I couldn’t lay there any longer. I knew that in less than an hour the house was going to be busy with chaos. I slowly got off the couch, careful not to disturb anyone and made my way upstairs. I grabbed a ginger ale from the fridge thinking that would help calm my stomach, but let’s be real, I don’t think anything could do that. I turned the TV on to watch something trashy before my mom told me it was my turn to shower.

After my extra long shower and when I felt like a could breathe a bit better I walked down the stairs and had a venti mocha waiting for me with the big word “bride” written across the top. This was it. I was getting married. Today. I couldn’t stomach the coffee, the milk and chocolate combination not magical like it once was. I took a picture, and left the drink to whoever wanted it. I was getting my hair done at 10, so I had an hour to spare. I walked around a bit and chatted with the girls as they got themselves ready. Tiffany stopped by earlier that morning with tons of breakfast food to make sure we ate well. The thought of food still wasn’t appetizing. I just needed to see him. I sat and watched mom and Alex get their hair and makeup done and couldn’t believe I was going to be the next up.

It was time. I hopped in the chair and listened as the conversations went on around me. I practiced my breathing as I had done numerous times the past day. It just didn’t seem real. This had been something I had talked about for so long, and to now have the day actually be here, I just didn’t know what to do. So, I said a few words and let myself get pampered. Around 10:45 our photographers showed up to the house to do a few pictures of us getting ready, and take detailed pictures of the dress. We made small talk and when my hair was done it was time for the makeup.

Every so often the girls would come over and ask me how I was doing and if I needed anything. Everyone was extremely helpful but I just didn’t need anything, I just wanted to soak it all up, and enjoy the day as best I could. I loved my hair and makeup, Lindsey and Cristine did amazing jobs, and made me feel so comfortable I hardly knew what was going on. Andy and Javi did the best job taking pictures as we talked, and captured some laughs throughout the morning. As soon as Lindsey finished my makeup it was time to drive to the church. I was seeing Jeremy in an hour.

The drive to the church was calm. We turned on some music and Michelle, Jac and I talked briefly about how crazy this all was, but how right it was at the same time. Who knew Jeremy would be the first to get married, and that I would be the one marrying him. It’s the biggest blessing and the Lord had shown us how good He is, by bringing us together. My nerves were getting the best of me and during the second part of the drive I had to remind myself to breathe again. We parked the car, grabbed our belongings and headed inside to get ready.

Andy had found a spot where he was going to have our first look be, across the street away from everyone. I was thankful. The whole idea around a first look is beautiful. I didn’t want to share Jeremy seeing me for the first time with anyone else. It was a moment that will be engraved in my heart forever. I had the girls get dressed and take the boutonnieres upstairs to the boy’s room as well as the rings and Jeremy’s gift. I couldn’t wait for him to open the presents I got him. I knew he was going to love it.

Here was the moment. Andy came into the room and we finished zipping up my dress. I had my bridal TOMS waiting for me, my garter and my beautiful veil, borrowed from my sister’s wedding. While putting on my garter I realized that it was too big. I had lost some weight leading up to the wedding and in an instant it started falling off. I figured I would just make sure to put it on before the garter toss later that evening. I then sat in a chair by the window and opened the gifts Jeremy got me. He wrote me this beautiful letter and gave me a necklace I’ve wanted for forever. It says “Mrs” on it. Not too soon after that I was fixing my lipstick and drowning myself in perfume. In just moments I would be going to see him, my groom, on our wedding day.

I hopped in Andy’s car and as we drove across the street I practiced my breathing again. He gave me instructions on how to walk behind Jeremy, just slightly to the left and tap him on his left shoulder. (Making sure to keep the moment in frame so we could get those awesome pictures!) It. Was. Happening. Andy parked the car and told me to wait there and he would give me the signal when it was good to walk over.  What felt like five seconds later I was getting out of the car and saw Jeremy’s back for the first time all day. I slowly walked over and tapped him on his shoulder.