Faithful in the Fray

“ A newly married man must not be drafted into the army or be given any other official responsibilities. He must be free to spend one year at home, bringing happiness to the wife he has married.” Deuteronomy 24:5

For those that have been married a while let this serve as a reminder, for those that are recently married let it be made known you’re not alone, and for those who aren’t married yet, let this shine some light.

Before Jeremy and I were married we were involved in a lot of different activities. For example, I would babysit regularly on Tuesday nights and Wednesday mornings, I was a leader and sang on the Worship team on Wednesday nights, I was either greeting, holding babies, or singing on Sunday mornings and going down to Atlanta on Sunday Nights, I worked 40+ hours a week, dining out groups once a month and I had events and volunteering that I would do on a week in and week out basis. Jeremy, worked 40+ hours a week, was either drumming or teaching the kids on Sunday mornings, had Monday night practice and Wednesday night Bible study. Our days and weeks were jam packed.

Leading up to the big day I slowly started pulling myself away from things. I knew that my life wasn’t my own anymore, and that his schedule and my schedule became our schedule.  We quickly realized it was too much and so we analyzed and prayed about how we could shift things around that way we had time for each other and still were able to do the things we love.

It’s never easy telling someone that you can’t do something for them anymore. It’s awkward and uncomfortable and you always feel like your letting them down. But here’s what I’m learning:

It’s okay to say no.

I know, that might seem crazy. We can’t do it all. We need help, we need to take breaks, we need to focus on ourselves sometimes. It’s okay to be a little selfish. We have to focus on where we are at in life that way we can better help those around us. Were called to pour out and love on those around us but what happens when we’re empty? We get angry, frustrated, bitter, and just downright awful to be around.

My suggestion: Make a list. Things that you absolutely cannot give up, things you can give up for a time, and things that you can afford to pass off to someone else. Just this past Tuesday I said see you soon and hugged my precious kiddos for the last time. I didn’t want to stop babysitting them, I’ve been doing it for 6 years, but sometimes we have to say see you soon and walk away.

I’m using the above verse for a men and women. We both need to be home. I won’t give up sitting next to my husband on Sunday mornings because we’re running around serving others we forget to be taught. I won’t give up eating dinner together because we have “places to be.”  We’re putting ourselves and our marriage first. In a day that says run crazy with your schedules, spend no time at home, ‘see you when I see you’ we’re choosing the opposite. We sit together every night and laugh until we cry. We clean all 900 sq feet of our home until it smells like new. If we have to go somewhere we go together, because we will never get these moments back. Our only job right now is to make each other happy. That’s it. It’s what we’re instructed to do. I so wish that we would all slow down and take a minute. I understand I’m still a ‘newlywed’, and that the ‘going hasn’t gone tough’ just yet. You’re right. But, what I can tell you, is that we choose each other. Every day. No matter what. He’s my person & I am his. We’re saying yes to our marriage and yes to happiness. It’s a forever and always kinda deal.