Faithful in the Fray

I'm not removed from the chaos, I'm faithful inside it.

wife, mama, friend. hope advocate.

wait, whats my name again?

Radical transformation. Two words that mean you’ve been changed forever. We’ve all seen the shows on TV where someone goes in looking one way, and in a few days or even some months later they leave looking like a completely different person, inside and out. The reactions from others come in all different forms they can scream, cry, jump up and down, or shower them with compliments. In the end the person is always described in the same way: transformed.

The first trip I had taken with AIM was back in the fall of 2010 with the formally known ‘Real Life’ program. Our trip was to Kenya for three months. To say that I went in one way and came out another would be an understatement. The Lord wrecked my world, and brought me to life. I found out who I was really in Christ, and who the Lord had created me to be. I went home knowing that I would never go back to the person that I once was, but didn’t really know where to go from there.

Fast forward to this January when I left my home once again, as a leader this time, to go back to Africa for four months. I knew that the Lord was going to change/grow/mold me more this time, but I wasn’t exactly sure in what ways and how much. Can I just say that I love it when the Lord surprises me? Because I really do… I honestly can’t even pinpoint when the transformation happened in my life because it has been so gradual. I do remember when we came to Nairobi for midterm debrief (after being in the bush for the past 27 days with no shower/mirror/clean clothes/running water) taking my first shower and looking in the mirror not even recognizing myself. I have to say, I freaked a bit. I was having my own identity crisis.  It was really weird and unexplainable. So, I did what every person would do, I talked to a few people about the transformation going on in my life and they were super supportive and loved what was happening. I however, wanted it to stop immediately.

When you’ve looked the same way for the past, well forever, and suddenly you start to change, things get a little scary. It’s a vulnerable state to be at, letting people really see you and get to know you. Praying through this the Lord continued to speak to me and let me know that more was coming and that He was proud of me for allowing the change to happen. Not knowing what all the meant I continued to pursue the Lord and ask Him what else needed to change in my life. That, of course, is always a dangerous thing to ask.

Arriving in Tanzania I had this new-found confidence in who I was as a daughter of the Most High. I woke up and daily renewed my identity in Christ and spoke truth into my own life. While I thought I was walking more confidently in who I was, the Lord spoke to me, and told me that I was actually hiding who I really was. Wait a second, I though I figured that whole thing out. But, I was wrong. In this instance He was talking about my name. You see I’ve gone by Lizzie since the 2nd grade, and never anything different (unless it’s my family talking to me.) The nickname stuck and I liked it. I never saw myself as anything other than a “Lizzie.” Short. Sweet. Easy to hide behind. But it is time to come out of hiding! The name I thought I didn’t deserve, the Lord is giving back to me. So, no longer will I be a short, simple, easy to hide behind ‘Lizzie’ but I will walk confidently in my God-given name, Sara Elizabeth. Not so short, not so simple, and definitely not easy to hide behind. I know my radical transformation is a work in progress, but I feel like my identity crisis is finally over.
This is me while in Uganda at the Nile River, the first 3 days in Africa.

This is me at home last week.
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