Faithful in the Fray

To say that leaving this time around is hard would be an understatement. Gut-wrenching, would be the more appropriate term. Leaving for Kenya was much easier. I didn’t have many friends to come back too, I wasn’t actively involved in community, I didn’t really have a church I was 100% committed too, and I wasn’t very happy with where I was at all. It was hard to say goodbye or I’ll see you later to my family but other than that I was fully content to go.

When I returned from Kenya I immediately wanted to return to Africa. I hated being home, I didn’t like that all my new found best friends were going back to their own lives and moving on. I felt as if I didn’t belong here in America anymore. I longed for being in that constant state of prayer and asking God for the impossible, because God doesn’t like petty prayers. It was so easy as soon as I returned to go back to some of my old habits. I thought that I changed so much in Kenya that I wouldn’t struggle with the same things when I returned. But, just like with anything, if you want change you have to work for it. So, I get an e-mail mid-December and I was asked to go and lead a trip that summer, 2011, with AIM. I thought, wow, here it is. What I have been waiting for: an out. Something to get me back out into Africa or some other place and lead a trip and be back with God all the time. Unfortunately, things just didn’t work out. And I was stuck.

A couple weeks later my friend Ashley had been babysitting backstage at this church called ‘Passion City’ and asked if when she left for Kenya for four months if I would be willing to take over for her. I went one Sunday and completely fell in love with the kids and decided to take the job. I spent the next months going to this church but never actually attending a service, which was a real let down because I wanted too so bad! Rolling into summer time the church started a service for 18-25 year old’s on Wednesday nights called “Summer in the City.” Since I had been attending the church for a little less than 6 months I decided well, its probably about time to go to a service, even if its not on Sunday and meet some people. The first few weeks it was just me, my sister, and my friend Arlie. We didn’t meet anyone new and I thought “Man, this is going no where. I hope I actually make new friends!”             Ashley and I at my going away dinner.      

Well, when you say those things, God surely listens. The next week this random girl, who is now one of my best friends, came up and invited my sister and I out to eat after service. We thought, ‘hey, what do we have to lose, it’s not like we know anyone anyways.’ little did we know that night was going to change my life forever.

I ended up meeting the greatest friends I’ve ever had in my entire life. They have seriously molded me and shaped me into who I am today, and I am forever grateful because of that. Those new friends; Kasey, Drake, Ayers, Jon, Zach O, Jacob, Nich, Andrew, Kirby, Lisandro, Tatum, Leah, Frank, Ashley..to name a few, have become my family. Some of us fight, some of us challenge each other, we all encourage each other, and we all laugh so much and have so much joy. I couldn’t imagine my life without these people in it. Whether they are all going to be in my life forever, or just for a season, I know right now they were put into my life for a reason.

Kasey and I at my going away dinner….

There is no doubt God hand-picked each one of them for moments like these, as I get ready to leave for 4 months. Goodbyes have always been easy for me, because I don’t get attached. This time though, everything was different. As I called my sister last night crying, after hugging each one of these people numerous times, she said ‘don’t worry, they won’t forget about you. God knew how hard this was going to be. He wouldn’t have put them in your life just to have them leave you. They’ll be here when you get back.’

I hold onto those words as I get ready to leave. I know without a shadow of a doubt that this is what I am supposed to be doing. I’m supposed to go and be the hands and feet of Jesus. I am supposed to pray the impossible, see the unforgettable, and do the unimaginable. I know that God is with me and each member of my family. I hold onto the fact that I have a community to come back to when I return. I have a church I love and am actively involved in. I have some place I want to be, and a place that needs me.

To my ‘family’: I love you guys, thank you for your support and encouragement. I wouldn’t be the same without you. I’ll see you in May. We’ll make sure to have an epic dance party upon my arrival back.

My Family.