Faithful in the Fray

Is this thing on?

It’s been quite a while since I sat down and let my fingers grace a keyboard for my own blog. In case you didn’t know, I’ve been stretching myself by writing for a blog called Gracefully Truthful. I joined the team back in December and it has been the hardest, most rewarding journey in my writing career thus far.

My personal writing, aside from the journey studies I am working on for the blog, has been hidden in the depths of my journal, sticky notes in my office, and notes on my phone. I’m constantly thinking of everything I need to write down so I don’t forget and by the time I sit down to write I’m exhausted. Can anyone relate?

If you we were sitting across from me on my couch right now I’d probably tell you about a few things that are going on in my life today.

I’d tell you about how I can’t even believe that I have a 16 month old daughter. It’s so crazy the way these tiny humans grow and develop and rely on you for every single thing. Maizie has the best family (near & far) as well as support system around her, encouraging her, and pushing her towards greatness and I can only imagine how this is going to grow and develop more over the course of her life. She is the brightest light of my life, and has brought more healing to my soul than I could ever describe in this post. She is walking all over the house right now and I’ve never been more thankful for a place with no stairs. Girlfriend gets around quick. It’s a joy being her mom. Even on the days when she’s teething, has eczema all over her legs, cries when water touches her head, and smacks my face. I promise you we don’t have it all together.

Then I’d probably tell you about how being on Jury Duty completely wrecked my life. I was so excited when I received my summons in the mail. It came right after my birthday in July, and it was like the best belated birthday present ever. When I showed up on the Monday a few weeks ago I felt like I had a responsibility to do my part as a citizen of my county, and I’m so glad that I kept that mindset the entire time. For anyone that really knows me, I have a hard time keeping things quiet, especially something like this, so you know how hard it was to not say anything for four days while the trial was going on?! One of the hardest secrets I’ve ever kept by far! I wanted to discuss the case with everyone. Although I wasn’t prepared for the emotion it evoked in me. Listening to someone’s life and the inner workings of their relationship was very difficult. I felt myself empathizing with both sides, as I was witnessing two very broken and hurt people. By the end of the week I felt drained, and left the court house praying for everyone involved and hoping they all got the help they needed in order to move forward.

We’d most likely segue into talking about the way the apartment looks and the changes Jeremy and I (okay and Alex, Chelsea, Kimberly and Brittany) made to make it more a home. This year has been incredibly difficult and instead of looking at our house as a place where so much sadness has lived, I have made it my mission to make it our home. A home where we remember the good things that have happened, like Maizie learning how to walk, and Jeremy starting school.  With curtains in every room and pictures hung on the wall, our home has become a safe place and I pray that all who walk over the threshold into it feels that way as well.

I’m sure we’d probably chat about church and what has been on my heart lately in my journey with the Lord. My church, Christ Community Church, is hands down the best church in the world. I’ve been going for a decade now and I never get tired of it. My own journey with the Lord has changed so much since I was just 15 years old and in youth group. I’m thankful for a church family that has come alongside of me to help develop the gifts Jesus has put inside of me. This church body has become a safe place that loves people. A place where we push you closer to Jesus even when it hurts. And that is a place I love to be.. well most of the time. I’m thinking of the message our pastor spoke this past week as I type this. A caveat that he added in his sermon was “stop making excuses and start making small changes.” It’s stuck with me and has been playing over and over in my mind the last 48 hours, which is what inspired this post.

I’m dusting off my keyboard and back at it. At least for now. So thanks for taking the time to hang out with my on my couch. I may or may not have eaten pancakes while we talked. 😉

p.s. I’ve updated my blog quite a bit, so click around and let me know what you think! I’d love to connect with you!