Faithful in the Fray

The second time I ever saw those faint pink lines show up on a pregnancy test I was shocked. The shock quickly became excitement, which then turned into fear. All of the emotions I had been sorting through the last five months came rushing back. What happens if this baby doesn’t make it like Everett? How am I going to deal with being pregnant again? Are we ready for this? We don’t even live in our own house, can we afford to have this baby? I was so excited but the questions swarming my head were too much to handle. The rest of the day I remember praying, praying so hard that God would be with me and help take my fear away. This baby was a miracle, and we were going to praise our Heavenly Father because of that!

The next week we announced to everyone we knew that we were expecting again. I got mixed feelings from those I told before announcing publicly. They wondered why we were sharing so early, and would it be better to wait until we were in the ‘safe zone’. I don’t fault them for the questions, as we had just walked through a loss and didn’t want to have to do that again in such a public forum. That is when I realized that of course we would share about this baby just as we did the last. This baby had a name, had a story, and deserved to be celebrated every day.

I’m not going to lie to you – still to this day, every time I go to the bathroom I pray there isn’t blood. To some that might sound extreme, but for every momma that has experienced a loss you know exactly what I am referring too. The first time I had a cramp from my muscles growing I hit my knees begging God to keep her safe inside of me. I know that is no way to live, but it is something that I have been coping with the last five months. I’m here to share that battling fear during pregnancy is a real thing.

I stumbled across a blog back in November and it shared amazing scriptures for fighting fear in pregnancy. I wanted to share some of them here, as I know a lot of my friends are currently expecting. For some of you, this is your first baby, for some of you, this is your fourth, and for some of you, this is the furthest you’ve made it after a loss. I’m hopeful that these scriptures will bring you the same peace of mind that it brought me. I had these plastered everywhere- my desk, my computer, my phone, at home, and as I began to memorize them, I repeated them over and over, until I felt the worry dissipate.

•For by Him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by Him and for Him. He is before all things and in Him all things hold together. – Colossians 1:16-17

•Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. – Hebrews 11:1

•Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you. He will never let the righteous fall. – Psalm 55:22

•Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. – Isaiah 43

•Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. – John 14:27
My prayer is that we would let faith in to push fear out.