Faithful in the Fray

Last week I posted a status on Facebook that said “one of the hardest lessons I am learning right now is how seasonal friendships are. Some are there for life, some are there for years, and some just for specific seasons.” I was overwhelmed with the feedback I got, from those who commented, liked, and some even texted me to go more in-depth with what it meant to them. I am by no means a friend expert, but I do care a lot about the people in my life.

When I was growing up I was friendly, funny, and out-going, but deep down, I was scared, depressed, and lonely. When I made a friend, they were the only friend I could have, the only person I would hang out with, and eventually, after too much time together, one of us grew sick of the other, and that was it. The friendship was over. Then high school came around, and after a year in public school where I made like, two friends, I decided to be homeschooled which meant my circle of friends went to basically none. Those were the hardest years of my life. I had a few friends, but they all lived far away, so we relied on texting and Skyping, and seeing one another on weekends. Eventually life happened, and those friends slowly faded away. Through every stage of my life, those friends have remained important because they helped me through pivotal seasons of my life. For those months or years, those were the people I relied on. I treasured them. Not many of my seasonal friends ended badly, but then again, you can’t expect roses all the time. It was with those types of endings that I learned what to do, and what not to do next time around.

  
When I had my first experience with community back in 2010 I was really shown what true friendship looked like. Those humans were there from beginning to the end. They were there through triumphs and failures. They were there literally through sickness and health. Most of them I even still talk to today, because that is how impactful our relationships were with one another. We may all live across the globe, but thankfully, we have our phones and computers to keep up with each other and know that if we really needed someone, they would drop everything and be there in a heartbeat. Those are the kind of friends my heart desires. I came home with a desire to make impactful relationships. To be intentional, and let every single person I come in contact with know that they are my focus, and that nothing else matters except for them in that moment. Too often our business creeps into being a real friend and we make excuse after excuse until one day we end up alone, with no one to blame but ourselves. And I refuse to be that person.

I hope that I am known for being a friend to anyone and everyone. Those I see eye to eye with and those I don’t. I know that it is impossible to please and befriend everyone, but my desire is that those I come in contact with to know the love of Jesus through our friendship. You see, I don’t have a friend just to have a friend. I have a friend so that we may be brought closer to Jesus in everything we do. I am not saying we have to be serious all the time, but I am saying that I thoroughly enjoy befriending those who can tell me how I can look more and more like Jesus with every move that I make.

  
Jeremy laughs sometimes at how many conversations I can have going on throughout the day. I am in constant contact with people. It’s not something that I take for granted, or even wish away, but it is something that I treasure so deeply. I know that the Lord has given me a gift of friendship, and encouraging those that I am around, even if for a split second. Yet, one of the hardest things I struggle with, are those friendships that disappear without warning. It’s our human nature to analyze everything that we did, every conversation that we had, just to see if we can get to the bottom of things. But as I am walking through some of that journey even now, I am learning that ultimately, those friendships are seasonal, and no matter how much it hurts to let go, I have to. I cannot move forward with the gift that I have while still looking behind me. There is a reason why we have a big windshield and a tiny rear-view mirror, am I right?

My prayer is that in this post you realize that you are not alone. Those friendships you have now, treasure them. Soak them in. Don’t waste time on petty fights that could end your relationship. On the other hand, if you are battling what you did wrong, stop. It’s not worth it in the end. Move forward, and look forward to the people the Lord has placed in your path for the next season.